I feel horrendous. I have let this blog deteriorate, grow in obscurity to a purgatory. I realize it’s been months since I’ve posted anything new… and I feel terrible because I have suddenly realized how much it betrays any person’s even possible interest. To any followers out there who are still with me, I thank you. I have been distracted cutting the line between the growth of reflection and the attraction of experience; for the last several months the hunger for experience has outweighed my need for reflection. Here’s to realizing what’s important in my life again. I hope you will see more of me in the upcoming weeks.
First and foremost I believe there should be an apology. I started this blog with the best of intentions however, as it does, life got in the way. As meager and insubstantial an excuse as that is, it is my rationalization behind my absence. Seeing as it is on my mind, lets kick things of again with ‘time’.
Time. We, or at least I, often sat that I never seem to have ‘time’ for the things we/I enjoy. It’s funny how the truest passions in life far too often take a back seat to meaningless, “more important”, things for the sustaining of one’s self. This came for me in the form of final exams as well as other work which, while important, should not wholly deter me from what I enjoy. I feel like a hypocrite, sitting here proclaiming my honest opinion that one should make more time for their interests or enjoyments, yet I fall victim to the seemingly pointless events. I would hate to think that this is a way of proving true passions; by seeing those that persist through the swamp of every day tedium.
On another side of things is the matter of immediately removing time. I can honestly say that I lived without it once and it was quite possibly the most entrancingly beautiful event. For two weeks I set aside my normal habit of wearing a watch and decided to avoid it all. I woke up when I did, ate whenever I got hungry, did what I felt like, slept when I got tired. It was fantastic. The only real problem with it all was that it completely eliminates the finite idea of planning and forms it into nothing but infinite plans. Instead of making plans for dinner around 6:00 as would be the usual, it was ‘later’. This kind of embodies that separation. While it is more than grand for reinforcing a personal will for ‘in the moment’ living, it abandons one solid system on which every thing and everyone else runs. I know the argument could and probably will be made that time as an overall continuum remains regardless of the presence of a watch, but I’m more addressing time as the conventional concept seen in every day life.
To tie these two ideas together (which I honestly wasn’t planning) perhaps it is not that passions take the back seat to tedium but to things that appear more instantaneous and important at one particular moment. At many moments in the last few weeks my academics have seemed more important than writing. I also saw writing as something that would always be there whenever I was free. Perhaps a passion is that which rises from one’s self at a point when nothing is going on, taking on the form of a true inner compass that generally leads one in an honest pursuit of interests. Hmm… anyway, to end on a note of wrapping up this idea with a realistic implementation of this belief, while writing is always there as an outlet for me, it should not be overlooked because of that fact. While it is there it is worthless if I don’t make some time for it. Ergo, make time for that which I love. Huh, kind of a roundabout way of reinforcing what should be common knowledge… I’m alright with that.